Why I want to Blog     

So, I think I understand that most blogs have a central purpose, a mission if you will. I’m not sure that this is true for me. This blog is going to be my thoughts. These thoughts will be scattered, and unorganized at times. It’s going to be like my journal. It will probably evolve. The distinct areas of my life are going to blend into these thoughts: physical therapy, family, essential oils. But none of these will be the central theme.

Mostly, this blog is about my miscarriage. And what’s going on in the corners of my mind, now that I am pregnant again.

I’m going to feel weird posting this later than I wrote it. 6 weeks today. Haven’t really told anyone. I lie. I told my dentist this morning because she wanted to take an xray of my teeth.

 We waited a long time to tell our family and friends about our first pregnancy. The standard 12 weeks and then some. Hindsight is 20/20. If I would have known I was going to have a miscarriage, I would have shared it sooner, and more joyously. Because I love that baby. Are you supposed to wait 12 weeks due to the fear of miscarriage? Well, I heard a heartbeat at 12 weeks on the dot. My baby stopped growing at 14 weeks 6 days according to the ultrasound when I couldn't hear his heartbeat anymore. I don't think the pain of losing him would have been any less if more people had known about him. 

In the book after miscarriage by Karen Edmisten, I read after my D&C, she shares her story of asking for prayers for the new baby growing inside her. She ended up losing that baby. It wasn't her first. The scary part is, I could lose this one too. However, the response she got from the people she told and asked to pray for her and her baby was that it was powerful to have a growing baby as an intention. As an intercessor. So I guess that’s what this blog is about too. That all of you may be thinking and praying for me and my babies.


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